Proud Mary keep on burnin’

The problem with the new boy is that he lives on the east coast while I am a left coaster. The time difference really sucks as he waits for me to wake up in the mornings and in the evenings, I’m just kind of getting things started with my evening and he’s going to bed.

Trust me it sucks.

He lives with his family, with which I have no problems other than what they’re going to think when they find out their 24-year-old son is dating a woman that is 42 years old.

I asked him yesterday about what he’s going to say to his family when he comes out here to visit and he said, “I’m going to tell them that I am going to Oregon to visit a female friend and visit schools.”

I’m sure that’s going to go over without any questions.


My other boys expressed a little bit of jealousy over the new boy and that lets me know that their needs are not being met.

So, it’s taken me about a week to get things right with the two of them and how I split my time. It’s easy to give a lot of time to the new boy because we are still getting to know each other and everything is so new and fresh.

But, I can see where I screwed up.

I’d like to say that things are perfect in my love life, but I know that as soon as you say something like that, something happens.

Maybe it’ll be something good.

I am at work right now and my client just fell asleep so I did a little bit of Spanish homework and I am blogging to you amazing people.

I have also taking an ASL class, and I’ve been going back to facilitating the support group for those in recovery from their mental illness.

Like I believe that I said earlier, I am finding that if I stay busy enough, I don’t seek out those dangerous behaviors that happen so quickly when I’m manic.

Which by the way, doesn’t seem to come in an episode form anymore. It’s just there. Always.

The ASL class is very fun. The guy that is the “teacher” is deaf and from Jamaica. I wonder if he has an accent when he signs.


He probably does.

He makes it fun and easy to learn. We’ve been learning more than just the pleasantries. He taught us all the different ways to tell someone to fuck off. He taught us all the ways to say that I enjoy sex.

I’ve been going with a co-worker and it’s been cool to hang out with her outside of work. Even if all we talked about was work. She’s a cool girl.

Oh so, let me go back a little bit to the support group…

First off, let me say that for the end of summertime and beginning of fall, there are a lot of people in the group. Usually the numbers rise in the dead of winter when it’s all dark and gloomy and people get depressed. That’s the way that it’s always been.

This group is huge. Probably around 13-15 people every meeting. It takes a long time to go around the group and have everyone check in and tell us about how their week has gone. It seems like we rarely have time at the end of group to talk about any issues that someone may be having.

Plus, I leave 20 minutes early so that I can make it to Spanish class.

There is a woman that goes to the group that is always in tears and I think that she’s more in crisis mode than in recovery but the guy that took the group over when I got burned out, has obviously allowed her to come and I don’t think that it’s a good fit.

She seems to cry and get triggered by a lot of things that people say, which makes her shout things out and then leave group in a very dramatic way.

There is also this guy in the group that talks about the same thing every single week.

Like, damn!

That’s something that I can’t handle very well.

People that repeat themselves or people that can’t seem to get over something. He’s also one of those annoying people that is always searching for advice but never even listens to the advice that people are giving him.

I don’t believe that he belongs in our group either. I think that he’s there because he’s been kicked out of every other group that he’s been in.

I didn’t make it to group on Monday because of the whole car issue and I didn’t make it to ASL, Spanish, yoga, sewing group or anything extracurricular all week. I have gotten out of my groove and it’s mostly due to car troubles.

I didn’t make it to ASL on Sunday because I just didn’t feel like going. I should have ridden my bike down there because it was a very nice afternoon but I wanted to stay home and smoke weed because I love my stoner weekends.

I have been struggling with my weight. And, no, it’s not a munchies thing.

I seem to lose and gain the same ten pounds and it really sucks. I don’t need to jump on the scale to see how much weight I have gained or loss because I can totally tell in how my clothes fit.

I’m totally a binge eater.

And, I binge on good, clean food but I still eat it without even realizing that I am eating.

Or I eat it, full on knowing that I am not hungry and I don’t need to be eating but I do it anyways.

It’s annoying but I can’t seem to stop.

I really need to go to this overeaters support group tomorrow morning and see what they have to offer as far as support. It’s also a group for under eaters which I think is not so awesome but I don’t know the dynamic of the group so it’s not fair to make judgments.

I wish that my employer would come home early so that I could go and spend some money buying panties. The new boy, is still buying my panties and socks and I’ve accumulated some money and I told him that I would buy new panties and socks with the money that he’s sent to me.

He likes to sniff the socks and panties. He wears the panties and wears the socks on his hands. He loves to rub his cock with socked hands. And, he also likes to wear layers of socks on his hands as he rubs himself and he sniffs them.

I’m not one to knock fetishes so I’ll just leave that right there.

It would also be nice to go home early so that I can find something to eat and smoke some weed.

If she comes home at the “regular” time then I will still have some time to eat and smoke weed but there won’t be time for panty shopping.

Which maybe I should wait anyways. I have some panties that I ordered from Amazon that have been delivered today and I also have some that I will go and pick up at the store on Friday.

I’ve really tried to get back to posting on my Tumblr every day but it’s hard.

Well, I wouldn’t say that it’s hard but I’ve been wearing repeats of panties because there’s been a gentleman from New York that’s been buying a shit load of my panties so I’ve been wearing pairs that I’ve already worn and then sending them to him.

For money.

Of course.

I have stack of new ones that men have sent to me and I’ve barely worked through that pile.

Oh, and Snapchat has seriously gone to shit and well, I got banned from Instagram

And, Tumblr has decided to change my blog to NSFW and now people can’t see my blog unless they’re signed into their account. That really sucks.

I have almost 3,000 followers on Tumblr and I’ve been thinking of what I can do to celebrate those 3,000 followers that I have collected in the past two years.

I was kind of thinking of posting a face pic for like an hour.

But, I also don’t want to do that for obvious reasons.

For my first 1,000 followers, I posted a rare titty picture.

For my first 2,000 followers, I posted an asshole picture.

What to do for 3,000…

Any ideas out there?


Meet ya in the alley. 

I’ve been so busy doing absolutely nothing. 

I spent so much of my summertime entertaining my neighbor kid that now he’s back in school and I’m like, what am I gonna do with myself?! 

I went back to work this week but only worked 14 hours. It was mellow on the work front. Nice way to get back in the swing of things. 

I’ll start back at the dispensary this next week, really slow to start off with as well. 

I’ve been fishing a lot which is always awesome. I have this little spot on the river where I ride my bike to and I love it. I’ve never seen another person there and I found it about three years ago. 

Caught my limit in 40 minutes.

Pan fried rainbow trout seasoned with cracked black pepper and kosher salt. Jasmine rice.

I got two packages this week. One had a pair of panties in it and one had a six pair pack of panties in it. 

The last two nights I have gone on dates with my boys that are still here. 

The first date, we went to a local arcade and played video games and air hockey for a couple hours. It was a lot of fun. 

It makes me laugh that some of the games in there are older than he is. 

I’m really touchy feely with my boys. I like touching and rubbing them. Smelling them. I like that they smell like soap and boy. 

I couldn’t keep my hands off of him while we played video games. In fact, I lost almost every game we played because I wanted to touch him. 

When we were walking back to his truck, I squeezed his hand and told him I wanted him to fuck me. He replied that he was going to really soon. 

I said, now and I dragged him into the alley. 

He kept trying to talk me out of it, but wanted it at the same time. 

We found a small staircase and tried to fuck on the stairs but it was way to narrow to really get any fucking done. 

I pulled him up the stairs as he tried to pull up his pants and I just bent over as I pulled my panties to the side. He entered me in one quick thrust and fucked me good. 

He asked permission to grab my hips and I granted permission. 

It made me cum. 

And, then he made me cum again. 

When I allowed him to orgasm, I spun around and crouched down low with my legs spread open wide. 

I took him deep into my throat and he exploded. 

I should have taken a pic of the alley. 

I’ve been smoking more THC concentrate lately because I’m a lazy stoner. I know, first one ever, right?! 

But, I do love flower a whole heck of a lot and so I’ll never be able to let that go. 

It was a gorgeous 77 degrees today without a cloud in the sky.
Warm September nights.